Shifting Perspectives to Third Person

By Joseph Duong (Team Member)

Have you ever felt like you were too harsh on yourself? Or find it hard to understand difficult situations? Many people, including me, find solace in self-talk and diary writing to process emotions and reflect on days past, present or future. When unrealistic advices such as “you’re being too emotional” or “get over it” fails, there is one way that can help you cope with understanding emotions or situations simply by shifting perspectives. Taking on a different perspective in situations can have psychological, spiritual and philosophical implications and can be just as practical when your thoughts are present or when you have something to write on. It is called illeism, philosophically it means to refer to yourself as third person. Similarly, if we are self-reflecting and processing information in this way we are behaving as an observer and in psychology that is referred to as self-distancing. There are many benefits to being an observer of our own story and on the contrary being our own first person (self-immersed) can consequently be aversive to trying to understand emotions.

This method is an easy alternative for those finding it difficult to psychologically distance themselves through imaginative means. Many therapists will employ ways of trying to get you to imagine a situation as an observer however not everyone are visual learners and not everyone can have great imaginations. Self-talking or inner monologues are a great way for auditory learners and diary writing are great for tactile learners. Overall, these all come under the same umbrella term of psychological distancing which means to remove yourself from your own situation and being the observer. Research shows the many benefits that self-distancing can have, and they are including improvements in emotional regulation, decision making, deriving meaning, reasoning, bias, wisdom, intellectual humility, rumination, open-mindedness and empathy. Most importantly the decrease in symptoms of stress, depression and traumatic events as well as lowering in blood pressure is evident for a physiological and psychological interaction. On the contrary, self-immersed individuals have been observed to have increased rumination and a higher emotional activation in the part of the brain associated with depression. Spiritually, illeism is common practice and is a sign of enlightenment in Buddhism and Hinduism as it is an act of removing your physical body and spiritually observing the world. Referring to self in third person can also be a helpful way to communicating to infants as seen on children televisions shows such as Sesame Street as well as parents referring to themselves as mum and dad. However, research has only been investigating the illeism during self-reflection or diary writing, and little is known regarding interpersonal communications.

With the many benefits of self-distancing, it can help in making sense of things and can be done anywhere and anytime. It is mostly helpful in thought processing for experiences of anger, sadness, or confusion and is well adaptive for those preferring visual, audio or tactile ways of learning. So, whenever you’re trying to make sense of things, take a few minutes to breathe and absorb the situation, then self-reflect by self-distancing.

References:
Ayduk, Ö., & Kross, E. (2010). From a distance: Implications of spontaneous self-distancing for adaptive self-reflection. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 98(5), 809-829. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0019205
Gerin, W., Davidson, K. W., Christenfeld, N. J., Goyal, T., & Schwartz, J. E. (2006). The role of angry rumination and distraction in blood pressure recovery from emotional arousal. Psychosomatic Medicine, 68(1), 64-72. https://doi.org/10.1097/01.psy.0000195747.12404.aa
Grossmann, I., Dorfman, A., Oakes, H., Santos, H. C., Vohs, K. D., & Scholer, A. (2019). Training for wisdom: The distanced self-reflection diary method. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/a5fgu
Gupta, S. (2018, February 8). The 'psychological condition' that binds Narendra Modi, Rahul Gandhi and Arvind Kejriwal. ThePrint. https://theprint.in/opinion/the-psychological-condition-that-binds-modi-gandhi-and-kejriwal/34281/
Hills, L. (2017, December 22). 10 journaling tips to help you heal, grow and thrive. Tiny Buddha. https://tinybuddha.com/blog/10-journaling-tips-to-help-you-heal-grow-and-thrive/
Kross, E., & Ayduk, O. (2017). Self-distancing. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 55, 81-136. https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.aesp.2016.10.002
Kross, E., Davidson, M., Weber, J., & Ochsner, K. (2009). Coping with emotions past: The neural bases of regulating affect associated with negative autobiographical memories. Biological Psychiatry, 65(5), 361-366. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2008.10.019
Lenski, T. (2016, August 2). 5 uncomplicated ways to gain psychological distance during conflict (and why you should). Tammy Lenski. https://tammylenski.com/psychological-distance/
Nortje, A. (2020, October 28). What is psychological distancing? Four helpful techniques. PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/psychological-distancing/
Shpancer, N. (2020, December 9). A science-based technique for coping with stress. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/202012/science-based-technique-coping-stress