Self-Confidence

By Sarah O'Driscoll (Counsellor)

Self-confidence or confidence is an attribute that we would all like to possess we often find this an attractive trait and gravitate towards people with confidence, so exactly what is it ?

Confidence is the attitude you have about your skills and abilities, you accept and trust yourself, have a level of control in your life, know your strengths and weaknesses well and have a positive view of yourself. (Florida, 2020)

Having self-confidence or confidence can create more happiness as you will have faith in your strengths and skills and be more motivated and successful in accomplishing the goals in your life, you will be confident in your beliefs and opinions and take more risks which can lead to more opportunities. (Jacobson, 2020)

What can lead to low confidence ?
These can be isolated past events for example being singled out in front of your peers for you performance in a certain task, financial troubles, instance of rejection or relationship breakdown or it can be repeated experiences for example not experiencing parental praise, abusive relationships or constant sibling competition. These factors can have such in impact on an individual’s confidence and the work required to recover or reverse the damage can be immense.

So, what are some strategies we can use to increase self-confidence or confidence?

• Visualise yourself as you want to be –  imagine yourself as the confident person you want to be , what does this look like ? how do you present yourself ? how do you feel and think?
• Write a list of 20 things you love about yourself  - do not overthink it just write it down seeing these things on paper can give you a boost.
• Smile, Smile , Smile – look in the mirror and smile , a big ear to ear over exaggerated smile do this a few times a day, smiling can build positive neural pathways in the brain and release those feel good hormones dopamine and serotonin.
• Assume positive intent – sometimes we are not sure what someone means by something they have said, and we overthink it turning it into a negative which can be confidence knocking. The trick is to interpret the intent as positive if you believe it to be it will be.
• Question your inner critic – at times you find yourself criticising and doubting yourself ask yourself for proof this is the case ? what evidence is there that you can’t do A ,  B or C this can help put things into perspective.
• Positive affirmations – find some positive affirmations that resonate with you, your personality and goals, write them down and put them in places you will see multiple times a day – your bathroom, the car , your computer or your diary. Seeing these can refocus your mindset and boost confidence (honeys, 2019)

 
It is important to talk to yourself kindly , be mindful in the words you choose after all you are the one that is listening.
 
“ I am the greatest , I said that before I even knew I was”  - Muhammad Ali
 
References:
Florida, U. o. (2020, August 25). What is self confidence . Retrieved from University of South Florida : www.usf.edu
honeys, C. (2019). Confidence - 150 little ways to make big change . NSW: Herron.
Jacobson, S. (2020, August 25th). Six ways to gain confidence . Retrieved from Meaningful Life Centre: www.meaningfullife.com