Blog Archives

Self-Confidence

8/29/2020

Self-confidence or confidence is an attribute that we would all like to possess we often find this an attractive trait and gravitate towards people with confidence, so exactly what is it ?

Confidence is the attitude you have about your skills and abilities, you accept and trust yourself, have a level of control in your life, know your strengths and weaknesses well and have a positive view of yourself. (Florida, 2020)

Having self-confidence or confidence can create more happiness as you will have faith in your strengths and skills and be more motivated and successful in accomplishing the goals in your life, you will be confident in your beliefs and opinions and take more risks which can lead to more opportunities. (Jacobson, 2020)

What can lead to low confidence ?
These can be isolated past events for example being singled out in front of your peers for you performance in a certain task, financial troubles, instance of rejection or relationship breakdown or it can be repeated experiences for example not experiencing parental praise, abusive relationships or constant sibling competition. These factors can have such in impact on an individual’s confidence and the work required to recover or reverse the damage can be immense.

So, what are some strategies we can use to increase self-confidence or confidence?

Visualise yourself as you want to be – imagine yourself as the confident person you want to be , what does this look like ? how do you present yourself ? how do you feel and think?
Write a list of 20 things you love about yourself - do not overthink it just write it down seeing these things on paper can give you a boost.
Smile, Smile , Smile – look in the mirror and smile , a big ear to ear over exaggerated smile do this a few times a day, smiling can build positive neural pathways in the brain and release those feel good hormones dopamine and serotonin.
Assume positive intent – sometimes we are not sure what someone means by something they have said, and we overthink it turning it into a negative which can be confidence knocking. The trick is to interpret the intent as positive if you believe it to be it will be.
Question your inner critic – at times you find yourself criticising and doubting yourself ask yourself for proof this is the case ? what evidence is there that you can’t do A , B or C this can help put things into perspective.
Positive affirmations – find some positive affirmations that resonate with you, your personality and goals, write them down and put them in places you will see multiple times a day – your bathroom, the car , your computer or your diary. Seeing these can refocus your mindset and boost confidence (honeys, 2019)

It is important to talk to yourself kindly , be mindful in the words you choose after all you are the one that is listening.

“ I am the greatest , I said that before I even knew I was” - Muhammad Ali

References:
Florida, U. o. (2020, August 25). What is self confidence . Retrieved from University of South Florida : www.usf.edu
honeys, C. (2019). Confidence - 150 little ways to make big change . NSW: Herron.
Jacobson, S. (2020, August 25th). Six ways to gain confidence . Retrieved from Meaningful Life Centre: www.meaningfullife.com

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Change and How to Cope

8/16/2020

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By Sarah O'Driscoll (Counsellor)

Change can be defined as to make the form, nature, content, or future course of something different to what it is or from what it could be if left alone. (Dictionary.com, 2020)

The COVID-19 pandemic has resulted in many immediate changes to life as we know it and quite possibly post pandemic, this can cause high levels of stress, anxiety, overwhelming feelings, frustrations, and uncertainty. Some of us have spent most of 2020 in some sort of isolation leaving us with an abundance of time to think about the “what ifs” and “why’s” and the personal impact of these changes.
So what can you do to make this time of high stress and crisis easier?

How to cope with change?

Think things through: and ask “what is the worst that can happen” we are often scared of change due to the fact we fear the unknown. A great way to deal with these feelings is to think the situations through carefully and write down the best and worst possible outcome putting these feelings down on paper helps. You can also think about the last time you had similar fears and how the situation worked out in the end.
Ask yourself how much you can control: when a big change is occurring it is important to figure out how much you can control this will help you in putting the situation in perspective.
Accept and Reframe: if this change is beyond your control try to take a reflective view. Accepting that you are not able to control the situation will bring you greater peace of mind than waging an unwinnable war which will in turn just cause stress.
Celebrate the positives: focusing on the positives of the change can help you greatly in managing the change, try to assess the situation and write down the positive aspects even when this appears to be difficult.
If the unwanted change is within your control: try to deal with it in a pro-active way. Implement problem solving techniques or set some goals to address any challenges focusing on the problem itself and developing an action plan is useful.
Manage your stress: improving the way in which you handle stress will greatly help you when dealing with change, the use of mindfulness or meditation are great strategies.
Seek support: being overwhelmed is a perfectly normal reaction to change, however if the change you are facing is big or involved this is when it might be best to seek some support. You might consider asking friends and family or outside professional help. (Government, 2020)

At the end of the day change WILL occur whether we like it or not, the world and society around us is constantly evolving. Positive and negative change will have an impact but there are ways to adapt in healthy, less stressful ways.

References:
Dictionary.com. (2020, August 15th). Dictionary.com. Retrieved from Dictionary.com: https://www.dictionary.com/browse/change
Government, A. (2020, August 15th). Dealing with change . Retrieved from Reachout: www.reachout.com

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Autism Spectrum Disorder

8/15/2020

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By Lily Phan (Principal Counsellor | Provisional Psychologist)

Every person is a different kind of flower,
and all together make this world a beautiful garden.

So this is a bit of a different blog post from me; it is something a bit more personal but hopefully still somewhat informative. I work with children and adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) in assessment, diagnosis, and support/intervention. And guess what? I have never met an individual with ASD who is the same as another, and that's the beauty of it.

ASD is often described as an empathy disorder because the core impairments are visible in social behaviours and interactions (Decety & Meyer, 2008; Gillberg, 1992). What this means is, oftentimes individuals with ASD can come across as blunt, rude and insensitive, when really they may just have meant their interactions to be matter-of-fact. This can be quite upsetting for the person on the receiving end of these social interactions, and understandably so. However, this frustration is not restricted to just the receiver, and the individual with ASD may also experience varying degrees of confusion.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders – Fifth Edition (DSM-V; American Psychiatric Association, 2013) also requires an individual with the diagnosis of ASD to have the presence of restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour, interests, or activities (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). What this means is, individuals with ASD have a narrow range of interests or behaviours they engage in over and over again, whether that be dinosaurs, frogs or bugs. Routines and structures also tend to rate quite highly, and when this is disrupted, emotions and actions that can be witnessed can seem quite disproportional to the event.

I enjoy the variety of presentations that come with my work, and working with clients who present with only ASD is definitely different to working with, say someone with only an anxiety disorder. However, having a diagnosis of ASD does not exempt an individual from having an anxiety disorder (such as generalised anxiety disorder, agoraphobia or social anxiety disorder). Individuals with ASD may also have other diagnoses such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and gender dysphoria, among others.

Mental health needs to have diagnoses and labels so that research and treatments can be found, however, although mental health stigma has decreased over the years, it still exists (American Psychiatric Association, 2018). What do I think of when individuals present with a diagnosis or more? I see those labels as challenges they are experiencing, and help them identify goals in treatment so they can live their best life.

References:
American Psychiatric Association. (2018). Among college students, mental health diagnosis and treatment are up, stigma is down. https://www.psychiatry.org/newsroom/news-releases/among-college-students-mental-health-diagnosis-and-treatment-are-up-stigma-is-down.
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (DSM-5®). American Psychiatric Pub.
Decety, J., & Meyer, M. L. (2008). From emotion resonance to empathic understanding: A social developmental neuroscience account. Developmental Psychopathology, 20: 1053–80.
Gillberg, C. (1992). Subgroups in autism: Are there behavioral phenotypes typical of underlying medical conditions? Journal of Intellect Disability Research, 36: 201–14

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Self-Confidence

Change and How to Cope

Autism Spectrum Disorder

Every person is a different kind of flower,
and all together make this world a beautiful garden.

Lily Phan Psychology

Archives

Categories

Self-Confidence

​Change and How to Cope

Autism Spectrum Disorder

Every person is a different kind of flower,and all together make this world a beautiful garden.

Lily Phan Psychology

Archives

Categories

Change and How to Cope

Every person is a different kind of flower,
and all together make this world a beautiful garden.